Posted on: May 22, 2018 at 5:50 PM

You have the names wrong.  My brother Lou was Marvin Lou Vanek II.  Our father was Marvin Lou Vanek.

I always looked up to Lou because he was my older brother.  He always led the way, and I followed.  One of my best memories of him is from about 2002, when he solved a military invasion simulation problem for the U.S. Government.  He utilized his boyhood experience with a war-themed board game that he used to play with Ken Weller, in order to solve the computer simulation need.

When I first moved to Okemos in fifth grade at Cornell School, Charlotte was my primary spelling bee competitor, and worthy opponent. Over the years, as we traversed Central Jr. High and that horrible campus-style high school together, I became more and more impressed by what a special person she was, a multi-faceted woman with much to offer. Of course, me being a nerd and pretty well into the autistic spectrum, only in retrospect did I belatedly realize how few people exist in this world who are smart, giving, wise and spiritual as Charlotte was.

Girls like Charlotte and Margaret (and Judy and Kathy) who sit quietly and observe and don't make waves tend to be less noticed, and I confess that many of us guys rarely appreciate their qualities until too late. Charlotte and her good frient Margaret were not in my "crowd" in high school, but probably should have been. I remember showing up at the first class reunion way back (thanks to my dear friend Rod and others of whom I have fond memories), and nobody but nobody recognized Margaret, who had transformed into a butterfly, and with Charllotte, had a conversation that would never have happened back in high school. How we change!

Later, when Charlotte showed up at my Dad's funeral, I finally, finally! felt that i knew what Charlotte had long been about, yet had too few moments to reprise our past and present. It's my one regret that I didn't take more advantage of that opportunity, likely due to the fact that I was a bit off due to my own grieving.

Charlotte and Margaret, unbeknownst to them, have a place in my own mea culpas and in my forthcoming book (names not mentioned) about how we sometimes miss the really good and true things right in front of our eyes because of preconceptions and confirmation bias.

So I wish to give a shout out to Charlotte's spirit here, that I, along with others I'm sure, have been impacted by her approach to life and her wisdom of seeing the world in balance, while living a life truly worthy of emulating.

When I first moved to Okemos in fifth grade at Cornell School, Charlotte was my primary spelling bee competitor, and worthy opponent. Over the years, as we traversed Central Jr. High and that horrible campus-style high school together, I became more and more impressed by what a special person she was, a multi-faceted woman with much to offer. Of course, me being a nerd and pretty well into the autistic spectrum, only in retrospect did I belatedly realize how few people exist in this world who are smart, giving, wise and spiritual as Charlotte was.

Girls like Charlotte and Margaret (and Judy and Kathy) who sit quietly and observe and don't make waves tend to be less noticed, and I confess that many of us guys rarely appreciate their qualities until too late. Charlotte and her good friend Margaret were not in my "crowd" in high school, but probably should have been. I remember showing up at the first class reunion way back (thanks to my dear friend Rod and others of whom I have fond memories), and nobody but nobody recognized Margaret, who had transformed into a butterfly, and with Charlotte, had a conversation that would never have happened back in high school. How we change!

Later, when Charlotte showed up at my Dad's funeral, I finally, finally! felt that I knew what Charlotte had long been about, yet had too few moments to reprise our past and present. It's my one regret that I didn't take more advantage of that opportunity, likely due to the fact that I was a bit off due to my own grieving.

Charlotte and Margaret, unbeknownst to them, have a place in my own mea culpas and in my forthcoming book (names not mentioned) about how we sometimes miss the really good and true things right in front of our eyes because of preconceptions and confirmation bias.

So I wish to give a shout out to Charlotte's spirit here, that I, along with others I'm sure, have been impacted by her approach to life and her wisdom of seeing the world in balance, while living a life truly worthy of emulating.

Happy Birthday. How all is well with you.
Darryl Englander